Have you ever ever been in a relationship with a man who you thought was the one? I imply, he was the proper package deal on the skin—tall, good-looking, stated all the appropriate issues, and even attended church usually. He gave the impression to be every little thing you prayed for in a future husband. However then, his true colours have been revealed. You later found that he was not despatched by God however extra like by Devil. You have been deceived and ended up heartbroken, feeling like a idiot.
Sis, you aren’t alone. I, like many different ladies, share an analogous story of a counterfeit relationship that left me offended and confused, choosing up all of the items of my shattered coronary heart. However I need to let you know that there’s hope. God healed me and gave me knowledge to assist me keep away from it from taking place once more sooner or later. I need to go this similar data on to you as your sister in Christ as I share extra of my private story—if you’ll let me.
What Is a Counterfeit Relationship?
First, I need to ensure that we’re on the identical web page after I consult with the time period “counterfeit relationship.” It’s a relationship that appears good on the skin however, deep down, lacks authenticity and substance. Counterfeit companions are misleading by nature and sometimes have ulterior motives—to wreck their victims for private acquire by profiting from the weak. They look like godly however are actually wolves in sheep’s clothes. They’re by no means actually surrendered to God.
2 Corinthians 11:14 says, “However I’m not stunned! Even Devil disguises himself as an angel of sunshine” (NLT). This scripture reveals us that not every little thing that looks as if gentle actually is.
I need to share with you three recommendations on the right way to discern a counterfeit from the true factor in order that you’ll by no means need to be deceived or undergo the emotional ache of a counterfeit relationship once more.
The way to Acknowledge a Counterfeit Relationship
1. Test the Fruit
Oftentimes, many ladies can simply develop into head over heels for a love curiosity, which makes them fall prey to counterfeits. I used to be a hopeless romantic and a straightforward goal for mine. I used to be blinded by love and missed many crimson flags. That’s why I encourage ladies to make use of their heads earlier than their hearts develop into totally invested.
Sis, guard your coronary heart and use your eyes. Take a look at the fruit in his life. Matthew 7:18 and 20 says, “ tree can’t produce dangerous fruit, and a foul tree can’t produce good fruit…Sure, simply as you may determine a tree by its fruit, so you may determine individuals by their actions” (NLT). Pay much less consideration to the phrases he says and extra consideration to what he’s really doing. Simply since you met him at church or he’s a professing Christian doesn’t imply he’s the true deal.
What’s his character like? Does he comply with by way of on his guarantees? Is he constant? Is he residing a life that’s submitted to the Phrase of God and His instructions? The man I dated was flaky, his tales didn’t add up, and his private way of life didn’t mirror that of a follower of Christ. His actions revealed dangerous fruit. You’ll be able to imitate gentle, however you may’t pretend fruit. So once more I say, verify that fruit!
2. Hearken to Godly Counsel
One other tip I typically give is: don’t date alone. I encourage you to ask your godly neighborhood into your courting relationships. Proverbs 11:14 says, “The place there isn’t a counsel, the individuals fall; however within the multitude of counselors there’s security” (NKJV). Wolves wish to go after the loner, however if you happen to keep inside your neighborhood, you gained’t develop into a sufferer of their schemes.
Your folks, household, and trusted individuals in your life can see what you may’t. They’ll additionally present clever recommendation when challenges or uncertainty come up inside the relationship. Now, I encourage you to take heed of their recommendation. My family and friends warned me in regards to the man I used to be courting. Sadly, I dismissed their warnings, and I suffered vastly. There’s no level in having counsel if you happen to keep away from their knowledge. So take heed to them as a result of they’ve your greatest pursuits at coronary heart and don’t need to see you get harm.
3. Belief God’s “No”
This one would be the hardest to do, however it presents the perfect reward. Sadly, for me, it took some time to see the significance of trusting God’s “no.” Together with not heeding the recommendation of my buddies, I additionally disregarded the warnings from God.
You see, God warned me by way of a number of desires that this man had a number of ladies in his life and that he was not His greatest for me. I didn’t need to settle for it as a result of I didn’t need to be alone. I felt like God simply wished me to be single perpetually. However the reality of the matter was that He had higher plans for me.
Isaiah 55:8 says, “For My ideas will not be your ideas, nor are your methods My methods,” says the LORD. Sis, it’s important to belief God. He has your greatest pursuits at coronary heart. He can see the center and secrets and techniques of the man you might be courting which you could’t see. He additionally is aware of the long run and the plans He has for you. No matter which will entail, simply know that they’re good as a result of He’s good! Trusting God’s “no” will prevent time, sources, power, psychological stress, and heartache in the long term. It may not make sense in the mean time, however wanting again, you’ll notice it was all in love.
Discovering Therapeutic After a Counterfeit Relationship
It took some time, however I lastly trusted God’s “no” for that individual counterfeit. Afterward, I targeted on rebuilding my relationship with God and sought therapeutic for my damaged coronary heart. I worshipped, learn the Bible, prayed, journaled what was on my coronary heart, took lessons, frolicked with like-minded believers, and targeted on bettering myself for when the appropriate one got here. I discovered Psalm 147:3 to be true: “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds” (NLT). God did simply that as I frolicked with Him.
Chances are you’ll really feel such as you’ll by no means be capable of love once more after going by way of such emotional heartache, however I’m right here to let you know that it’s going to get higher. Real love is on the market. On the proper time, God introduced me my husband, Damien. When he pursued me, I noticed the godly fruit in his life, all my buddies accepted of the connection, and God (and my pure father) gave us the sure to get married. Now, we live in a purposeful and joy-filled marriage with youngsters. It was all definitely worth the journey and the wait.
I pray you discovered my story encouraging. I need to go away you with this final thought: “It’s higher to attend on the true factor than waste time on a counterfeit.” Sis, you are price greater than an imitation. You deserve actual, godly love.
When you loved this weblog, I wish to invite you to my FREE webinar known as “Avoiding Counterfeit Relationships,” the place I dive deeper into this matter and offer you 4 sensible steps on the right way to break away from a counterfeit relationship and obtain therapeutic as you look ahead to God’s greatest. I even have a FREE reward for many who attend the webinar and keep to the very finish. You’ll be able to acquire entry to the webinar HERE! See you inside.
With Love,
Kenady Nash
Picture Credit score: ©Getty Photographs/dragana991
Collectively, Kenady and Damien share content material on relationships, religion, humor, and private development by way of YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok @DamienandKenady. In addition they co-own Utterly You 365, LLC. To be taught extra go to completelyyou365.com.