I’ve been down some deep rabbit holes over the previous few years.
After I discover one thing that sparks my curiosity, I turn into obsessive about studying all the pieces I can about it.
I’ve found issues like astrology, human design, David Kibbe’s type system, coloration evaluation, and Ikigai, all of which have led me to a deeper understanding of myself and my private preferences.
I’ve had a-ha seconds after studying that my astrology placements can clarify my love for writing or that outsized, fashionable garments don’t work on me as a result of I’m a Delicate Basic in Kibbe’s type system.
These techniques and labels could be useful as a result of they validate and make sure what we already find out about ourselves. They assist us identify complicated ideas and supply parameters that cut back evaluation paralysis.
However there’s one drawback.
My curiosity in these techniques and persona checks begins as excited curiosity after which shortly slips into an all-consuming have to get all the pieces ‘proper.’ It’s straightforward for an curiosity to turn into an obsession (and due to Reddit, I do know I’m not the one one).
So are these techniques truly useful in the event that they trigger us to hyperfocus on making the ‘finest’ or ‘proper’ choice?
In the present day I’m sharing what I’ve realized from these techniques, how we discover that means via them, and why I actually assume we wish to label ourselves.
The rise of packing containers and labels
Let’s begin by speaking about completely different techniques and labels so that you perceive what I’m referring to.
Forewarning: after studying this, chances are you’ll fall into a few of your personal rabbit holes.
Kibbe Physique Varieties
Launched within the Eighties, David Kibbe’s type system is predicated on 13 picture identities. These identities aren’t associated to the everyday fruit physique shapes (apple, pear, and so forth.) however fairly how proportionate you look, whether or not you’re extra angular or rounded, and the way tall or brief you appear.
The concept is to decorate in a means that enhances your pure options. Maybe you’ve at all times struggled to make clothes tendencies work, however you couldn’t work out why. Your Kibbe physique sort would possibly provide you with some clues.
You’ll be able to strive to determine which sort you might be utilizing on-line quizzes, however solely David Kibbe himself can provide an correct typing. Due to this exclusivity, individuals really feel they don’t have any alternative however to find out their very own sort, and there are subreddits to assist individuals determine it out.
It’s all good enjoyable while you’re getting began, however it could actually shortly turn into irritating while you don’t fall neatly into one class or get caught making an attempt to comply with the rules.
Coloration Evaluation
Coloration evaluation (aka discovering your “finest colours”) is one other system from the 80s that’s come again in full power. Are you a winter, summer season, spring, or autumn? Are you heat or cool, vivid or muted, mild or deep?
They are saying understanding your colours will assist you look harmonious in your garments, and also you gained’t need to put on as a lot make-up as a result of the colours will do the be just right for you (the truth that that is primarily focused at ladies enhancing their seems is a subject for an additional time).
The issue is that some individuals fall neatly into these seasons and others don’t. I’m embarrassed to confess that I’ve thrown my cash at 5 completely different digital coloration analysts solely to have all of them inform me I’m in numerous seasons.
I can hear you saying, “Simply put on the colours you want!” Sadly, my mind can’t appear to let me try this now that I find out about coloration evaluation. The perfectionist in me needs an identical wardrobe.
Astrology
Astrology is a system that helps us perceive ourselves and others via the motion of the planets. Maybe it’s a generational factor or simply the bubble I’m in, however astrology appears much less taboo at this time than it was prior to now.
Astrology can provide you a greater understanding of who you might be and assist you interpret your present section of life. You might know you’re a Leo, however are you aware the place the moon was while you have been born and the way which will have an effect on your emotional wants? Or how about the place Mars at present is and the way which will have an effect on your motivation ranges?
Due to its potential to interpret future occasions, the quote goes: “Millionaires don’t have astrologers; billionaires do.”
Whereas astrology could be useful if you know the way to make use of it, utilizing it within the incorrect means can create unfavorable stereotypes and generalizations.
Human Design
There’s one other system associated to astrology known as Human Design which may help you perceive easy methods to dwell your every day life with ease.
Relying in your sort, you’ll be able to decide whether or not the perfect use of your power is to be an initiator of latest concepts (Manifestors), to be a workhorse and get issues performed (Mills), to comply with your many pursuits (Manifesting Generator), to be a information to others (Projectors), or to easily observe the world and mirror again what you study (Reflectors).
This one opened my eyes to the concept our trendy world tells everybody they have to be initiators and workhorses, but many individuals will not be designed to make use of their power that means (maybe that is one motive why burnout and continual fatigue are so prevalent at this time).
Why we put ourselves in packing containers
Perhaps you’ve gone down the identical rabbit holes as I’ve, or maybe these techniques have by no means piqued your curiosity.
Both means, we people wish to put individuals into packing containers even once we say we don’t.
The query I discover myself asking is: What am I REALLY looking for to know about myself via these techniques?
For me, the attraction is a set of parameters which have the potential to make my life simpler.
If I do know that I’m a sure physique sort within the Kibbe system and my coloration season is True Autumn, perhaps I’ll waste much less cash on garments that don’t swimsuit me.
If I do know that I’m an INFJ within the Myers-Briggs Kind Indicator, I can really feel higher about my want for alone time.
Maybe all of that is to say that I’m a perfectionist who needs a algorithm to comply with as a result of I believe that can make my life simpler.
However is looking for an out of doors system as an inner guidebook the best way to go?
In an version of Oliver Burkeman’s publication titled ‘Programs vs. life’, he writes:
Many people yearn to discover a system or algorithm or life philosophy that might someway dwell life for us, on our behalf, so that when we’d pledged allegiance to the rulebook, we wouldn’t need to face the messiness and discomfort of truly displaying up, second after second.
If I actually dig deep, I need these techniques to provide me confidence in myself after I really feel unworthy.
Perhaps if I comply with the principles and pointers completely, I gained’t need to take care of any discomfort that makes me really feel self-conscious.
However life doesn’t work that means.
Changing into too reliant on an out of doors algorithm means we lose our private preferences within the seek for what’s proper or good.
The hunt for self-understanding shouldn’t turn into a pursuit of perfection.
Are these techniques pointless?
So, if we will’t depend on these packing containers and techniques to outline who we’re, does that imply they’re utterly pointless?
I don’t assume so. In spite of everything, they may help us make sense of the world and discover that means in summary methods.
It’s completely comprehensible to desire a sense of that means in life since nobody needs to waste their time and power. However looking for the proper system and making an attempt to comply with it to a T would possibly finish in wasted time and power anyway.
A part of the enjoyable of life is seeing what involves us once we’re not pushing, not looking for solutions, and never making an attempt to make issues good. All you must do is ‘be’ – you’ll be you both means.
Ultimately, making an attempt to depend on any system apart from your personal internal understanding will lead you additional away from what you need and wish.
Let your self include multitudes
Figuring out your persona traits or discovering your good colours isn’t essentially going to alter your life or provide the confidence you search.
There’s nothing incorrect with utilizing these sorts of techniques and labels; you simply need to method them from a spot of curiosity fairly than perfection. In the event that they’re not enjoyable anymore, it could be time to let go.
If you happen to really need to really feel assured in your self, settle for that you may be a number of issues without delay. Be okay with being undefinable. Create your personal pointers for all times as a substitute.
I write this as a message to you and to myself. It’s what I would like to listen to to cease getting so caught up within the particulars.